It's like a man looking down to see his son and seeing a monster instead. What was going on between us, me being his son and him being my dad, is pushed down and something else is moving up into its place. Seeing my dad cry like that was just so terrible. I didn't do nothing! I didn't do nothing! But everybody is just messed up with the pain. Everything was just pouring out of him and I hated to see his face. He wasn't crying like I thought a man would cry. He's afraid of the ways in which he's changed and the impact his trial is having on his relationships with his family: His fears aren't just about prison, though. He even throws in some exclamation points and underlining. He's focused on the horrors of jail, unable to get past the hate he feels for everything there. I hate, hate, hate this place!! (3.1-2) I can't write it enough times to make it look the way I feel. It's not really a knife, but a blade glued onto a toothbrush handle. If you look at somebody, they say, "What you looking at me for? I'll mess you up!" If you make a noise they don't like, they say they'll mess you up. Here's an example:Īll they talk about in here is hurting people. Each entry seethes with desperation and fear. Let's look at Steve's journal entries first. This helps him strikes a balance for himself, and this balance seems essential for his sanity as he goes through his trial. Depending on where he's writing, Steve uses two completely different tones.
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